I'm getting to that point in my school year where I'm starting to slack with the class that is the hardest. History. I don't have a history bone in my body. Today was a break through, I understood Napoleon! He was a bad mother *shut yo mouth*. And yet, I sat there comparing myself to him. I wish I had the balls that he had. The leadership skills and boldness. Do you know where I could be right now? I could be somewhere overseas doing an internship or making a lot of money. He was so young and he had already invaded so many countries and reestablished the french government. What am I doing? Barely eating for every meal, complaining about school, and barely able to pay for all the stuff I have to pay for.
*She now has thought herself into a sad mood and yet, no one will ever notice.*
I don't have much to post today... My brain is pretty empty and things are starting to turn around for the better. For now anyways. I know something is going to happen....It always does. I wish I was able to post during a break down. Break downs happen WAY more often than you would probably think. Oh... guess what. I sung in front of my church and they loved it. What did they love? The singing or the fact that I was so willing to embarrass myself? But that rush was unbelievable. I've never felt anything like it. I may not be able to sing but I love singing. And you know what? I want to do it again. Wow. I've played piano and violin in front of people and I still had the debilitating anxiety like I did when I sung, but with singing, I felt different. The anxiety actually made it all the best. Who knew? Anxiety made it a much enjoyable experience. Now let's see what depression has in store for me.
Thank you for reading. XOXO
No comments:
Post a Comment